An earthquake in Chicago?  Ridiculous!

April 18, 2008  - BY SUN-TIMES STAFF

Chicago officials say there was no damage detected here from an oddball 5.4-level earthquake, centered near Evansville, Indiana, some 240 miles south of the Second City.  The quake hit at approximately 4:36 am CT this morning which, as you can clearly see, is a redundant statement.  Nevertheless, everyone here agrees that an earthquake hitting the Midwest is an absurd concept and just another sign – along with the mainstream acceptance of tattoos, the current price of bottled water at Madison Square Garden ($4.50), and that fact that some people actually pay that much for something that pours out free from nearby water fountains-- that the world is about to end.

Some 200 city inspectors were dispatched to check "key locations" such as the Navy Pier Ferris wheel, construction cranes, all Hooters' restaurants,and the historic apartments in the exclusive residential enclave of Lincoln Park., particularly on Arlington St. near Clark.

File photo – Lincoln Park resident Mavourneen Marion claims she can sleep deeply anywhere.  Here she is dozing on the clattering Chunnel train outside of London, December 2006, while just down the aisle, a party of British Holiday revelers were disturbing the peace with their obnoxious merrymaking.

“It woke up my roommates, but I slept right through it!” proudly stated first-year DePaul law student and Lincoln Park resident Mavourneen Marion, who had arrived at her apartment on Arlington St. from a night of partying just a few minutes before the temblor hit and had promptly fallen into a deep slumber. “Their beds were shaking like crazy, and I was sound asleep,” she revealed before excusing herself to return to her mattress, which was still warm, although her pillow had become nicely cool.

Carole King, another resident of the area, said, “I felt the earth move under my feet. I also felt the sky tumbling down, tumbling down.  I even felt my heart start to trembling.  It was the best time I’ve had in years.”

The USGS Earthquake Hazards Program released this seismic hazard map showing the seismic activity in Illinois.  Arlington St. is located up in the top-right quadrant of the image.
(Courtesy USGS)

The garbage in this Illinois landfill suffered extensive damage early Friday morning.  Sanitation Tech IV Farley Jackson revealed that it "would take weeks to clean up this dump."