-early retirement for Michelle?- 

GOING OUT ON TOP

After 12 years and 17 minutes of competitive dance, Michelle (seen here with mother Donna -- her personal chef, dietician, chauffeur, nurse, fashion consultant, banker, motivational speaker, chief worrier, and, alas, occasional punching bag) has opted for "early retirement" (or at the very least, a year off).  In addition to opening up her calendar a bit (affording her opportunities to be involved in such extracurricular stuff as the yearbook, debate team, channel-surfing squad), she's also enjoying a break from the wear and tear on toes, arches, calfs, hips, shoulders, neck, ear lobes, sacroiliac, gluteus maximus and minimus, etc.

As for knowing when to say when, timing is everything!  Prior to making her decision, Michelle's ensemble (from Sussex County's Ballet Barre) was one of 27 dance schools from up and down the East Coast competing in January at "The Pulse," perhaps the most prestigious competition for amateur dancers in our hemisphere and even beyond, experts claim.  Michelle's group was picked as a TOP THREE performer, earning an invite to perform in NYC this summer as part of the best dance troupes from around the country.  But unfortunately, the event conflicts with Michelle's upcoming trip to Costa Rica as part of the Environmental Science Club of Kittatinny Regional High School.  So after deep deliberation for nearly four seconds, she chose to hang up her tutu for now.  In short:  Costa Rica here she comes!

Mia Michaels (photographed off the large video screen near the stage) of "So You Think You Can Dance" fame (a program that not a single one of the 1.3 billion Chinese people has ever watched, the lucky wretches) passes judgment on some 27 dance troupes from around the country this past January as part of "The Pulse.”  A sore loser was later heard muttering backstage, “Screw her…Did you see that stupid stocking cap she was wearing?  The biatch….”

And the winners are: All competitors gather anxiously on stage to receive feedback from celebrity judges.  Some dancers were so supple that they were seen nervously chewing their toenails while awaiting the verdict.  Note Michelle sitting completely out of sight in back of the front row somewhere on the left or right or possibly in the center.

Michelle and friend Sam take a quick break between performances.  It was after this Kodak moment that Michelle turned solemnly to her friend and said, “Hate to say it, but you’ve got a piece of spinach stuck in your tooth.”  She was just joking, naturally, but still, Sam was mortified.   What if there HAD been a chunk of spinach wedged there?  As a result, poor Sam has now developed the unfortunate habit of pulling out a small mirror and inspecting her teeth every five minutes or so, even after drinking white milk, which rarely leaves any residue as we all know.